Theory in existence, Corruption in persistence…
Muslims ruled the subcontinent for 1000 years… really?? I don’t know… Anyhow the Britishers came to teach you the difference between leadership and dictatorship with every fish caught and stored in their ship. You were ruled by them and by years oops I mean by decades to come, you successfully certified (dignified) yourself to be ruled in ages and generations to come and salute.
After major efforts of freedom fighters to Control-Alt-Delete the Britishers, you got inter-dependence in 1947. Later on, your father left the nation in higgledy-piggledy and there was a big ” :S ” over leadership to fall over someone’s shoulder. In the next 65 years, your political system and leadership become laughing stock (of exchange) in many regions of human globe of invest-meant.
More to a mockery of a joke is that it was hard to find a human being to lead the country with green dignity. So the animals used the human brain and ruled you big time. The political world and state of monarchies (and anarchies) expected separation-demanding people to produce green merlins to justify their separate land’s existence. But instead of green merlin, you in fact produced green chaplin, sometimes green dublin, and even green goblin.
So the leadership was tossed between two kinds of rulers. The ones who are in the military (with all their military ranks embarked from Britishers) and the politicians who are greedy of chair to build their own monarchy and throne their generations by mimics, I mean gimmicks (excuse my heart).
The ruling of the country became unstable and it is all after the assassination at Company Bagh, Rawalpindi in 1951, when a heritage of ‘fish-slapping dance‘ begin. The first presidency was proved a vehicle without engine and after many coronary bypass surgeries, the patient chose to share his bed with another patient in 1958. In almost three weeks, both president and army chief played fish-slapping dance on each other. Soon after Mr.president finally drown in water with a heavy halibut-punch, your military began to rule for the next 13 years. So martial law was imposed on the country (three months after the inaugural Nigar Film Awards).
The next two presidential elections in 1960 and 1965 witnessed the same army chief, so no challenge of defeating him in fish-slapping dance until in 1969, the guy of his same army rank punched him Halibut-fish. 1970 witnessed your inaugural gene-rall elections. In order to stabilize the heritage of dance, sardine-fish are distributed in Eastenders while halibut-fish in Westenders. A year later, ‘Finding Nemo‘ is released in December 1971.
The toss changed the fate as the man, who founded Pakistan Peoples Party in 1967, got the leadership as the Halibut-fish remained in his hands for the next 6 years. A warning Kiss over nuclear dilemma in 1976 was enough to pen his book in the prison cell. In 1977, nine political parties challenged him to win the fish-slapper over them. Then the introduction of rigga-rigga was rumored in general elections which controversially outraged the opponents of losing the contest without slapping him. The army interfered again and martial law was imposed for the third time with its leader serving the country for the longest term.
After the plane crash in Bahawalpur in 1988, the leadership had enjoyed (suffered) almost 30 years of fish-slapping dance. But this time, the transfer of leadership suffered a dissolute passion in shape of disease which spread in all the political parties. That disease was Osgood–Schlatter, which broke all the political movement to knees.
Here comes the voice of anarchy, I mean monarchy (excuse my heart again) as the first lady on earth is historically appointed as PM of Muslim state, I repeat… ‘Muslim’ state!! She leads the country twice but with an incomplete period of time due to dismissal from the president. The reasons were simple, Osgood-Schlatter disease made the government unstable enough to not be able to stand on their feet. Surgeons had pre-informed the patient for knee surgery but she didn’t listen to him.
In the chair-winning race after the plane crash of 1988, further more animals were found in different regions. One city saw a revolution where a minor student organization transform to a major ethnic organization which gave birth to a major party based on their roots to be realized as rejected in many controversial events in the past. The other city came on major hold by a man jumping into politics only to get his family property back snatched by the past government. He expanded his business and political roots stabilized in his region but the disease had no limits.
Finally in 1999, a fish-slapping dance contest was fought between the-then leader and the mercenary. The incidents matched tribute of first ever dance put to formal in 1958, as the army kicked the man the same way and 4th Martial Law was imposed on the country. Next eight years, the man in army boots never let anyone dance with sardine-fish on him. Big names left the country. Years later, they came back. Even the ‘justice league’ of Pakistan (coughs) were put to test the patience. The mercenary stepped down after the 2008 general elections and the country witnessed a real animal winning the presidential election. The country witnessed no-holds-barred in the most corrupted and shameless government ever came to run a 5-year term. Osgood-Schlatter was on it’s Everest-peak and all the fish had committed suicide just at the announcement of the new president being a dog.
In near future, there is a chance that finally the fish will not be tortured, voters won’t bother fingering when the thumb is gifted to mark on hope, international cricket may resume, international-begging may stop, minorities may not suffer, Baluchistan may not be forgotten. Because in these 5 testing years, a major voice became a nationwide revolution of change and call for unity in the development phase. The youth get inspired from all corners and patriotism level got exposure to height after a long time and lanky wait. Recent elections shook the momentum as the evidence caught, proved the general elections one of worst rigga-rigga displays of all time. The old gimmicks had applied to subjugate the land but the harsh truth for all fish-slapping dancers is that change has changed the change.
“A revolution can be neither made nor stopped. The only thing that can be done is for one of several of its children to give it a direction by dint of victories.” Napolean Bonaparte
Sami Naik | Film Critic 